Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday, July 13 2011

     I hate Wednesdays. Then again I don't because my wife is off work which means I get to take a break from doing the stay at home Dad stuff and get to do more manly things ... like go shopping for a swimsuit with my wife and daughter. Haha, laugh all you want, live it up, smile at my expense. Fuck you, and fuck my life.

     Shopping with a woman, ugh. That could be a blog in and of it's self. As a man, whenever I go to the store I have a plan. Not a list ... a plan. A plan which always involves getting the fuck out of the store as fast as humanly possible. I just don't like shopping. Especially when it's not for me. But even when it is, I still don't like having to be inside of a store. Let alone inside of Wal-Mart.

     Have you ever checked out the People Of Wal-Mart website? If not, then check it out. Here is the link :

     The only small amount of enjoyment that I get out of being inside that store is that I take pictures of people to send to People Of Wal-Mart. See, I do my part to help society. It's all about contributing your time. I'm a busy man most days, but it's for the greater good so I make sacrifices.

     Seriously though I hate Wal-Mart. Not because they're the big giant corporation that they are, constantly shitting on the little people. I hate them because I hate people and people tend to flock there and it's typically the type of people I don't like. Not to mention that I will never come to understand why a store with 28 registers has two employees, one of which has a severe mental handicap, in the middle of a very busy day.

     Which brings me to the door greeters. I don't hate the mentally challenged, or retards as I call them. I actually think it's a big conspiracy and they're not really slow at all and they have all of us fooled until one day they take over the entire world and make us their slaves. But why, why, why, must they have these people doing a job that requires them to speak to every single person who comes into the store? One guy talks really slow so by the time he get's "Welcome to your friendly" out, I'm already in electronics. Another lady speaks really really fast and say's the whole "Welcome to Wal-Mart" thing to every ... single ... person. That means if you come into the store with three people, she say's it three times and it's usually intermingled with "Have a nice day" to everyone walking out. Really, it's dangerous. Last time I got caught with five of us going in and there eight people walking out. I almost had a seizure.

     So that is why I hate going to Wal-Mart. I hate it all together but I hate it even more when I have to go with a woman because it means I'm going to be in the store twice as long saying things like, "Yeah babe, I really like that one.".

     That's been my day so far. Tonight will no doubt consist of sitting on my couch doing nothing. Joy. I hate Wednesdays.

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