Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Facepalm

     Quite possibly my favorite internet meme is the **Facepalm** popularized by  Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation. See : Wikipedia : The Facepalm

     The facepalm for me in a way summarizes how I feel at least a hundred or so odd times on a daily basis. From Christians touting their belief in a non-existent God, to the woman I encountered on Facebook today (Facebook is always a good place to a few facepalms) talking about how Marijuana should remain illegal and upon looking at her profile I discover that she is quite the drinker, to people who have known each other for less than a month publicly professing they're love for one another. The world simply seems to be full of opportunities to simply sit back, and...facepalm.
     Which brings me to the newest hit on MTV, Teen Mom. 
                    MTV's Teen Mom
                                                 Amber Portwood and her baby Leigh from Teen Mom      
     Something strange has been happening around my city. At first glance I thought that quite possibly it was limited to my hometown. My hometown is in Ohio and if that's not enough for you then just come visit here for a little while. Ohio, where our state motto is: Come on vacation and leave on probation!  
     Seriously though my little city is full of enough stupid people that I thought maybe it was just a fad passing through the area. Now it seems I may have been wrong. It's a fad sweeping the entire country. What am I talking about? Teen pregnancy of course. 
     Back when I had a Myspace page, before I discovered the wonders of the almighty Facebook, I noticed an ongoing trend of 13-17 year old girls updating their status's to inform the internet that they were indeed, "Preggo".  Not only do I despise the term "preggo" or "preggerz"...Preggo is sauce I like on my spaghetti. Not anymore. Thanks tramps.
     The thing that got to me the most is that these girls seemed to have a combination of pride and joyfulness about their being "preggo". Not one of them thought that it was a horrible thing to have happen to them. Not one time did I see a status update from one of them with the words "Now I'm fucked" in the sentence. Which might I add is exactly what they are. Fucked. They did, now they are. Their little tween lives are all but coming to an end and all they can do is make cute little words for pregnant and wow all their little tween friends by admitting to the world wide web that they are indeed little whores whose fathers are no doubt ashamed.
     I' am not being biased either. Remember, I was a teenager once too. Not that long ago actually. I remember what it was like to be horny. I remember checking out the girl's tits in the third row across from me. I remember having to tuck my dick in the waistband of my pants so that when I stood up I didn't knock the books off my desk. I remember all that shit. Vividly. I even got laid as a teenager! It was fun and it felt good. I get that. What I don't get is why nobody wants to wear a condom anymore. Don't give me that shit about it not feeling good either. Waking up every hour with a crying, screaming, whaling, month old baby doesn't feel too good either. Trust me when I say that a crying infant gives a whole new meaning to the term, "I'd hit it". And let's not forget STD's. I'm sure scratching your balls every millisecond because an army of Crabs decides to use your cock as a flagpole doesn't feel too good either. I'm not so much anti sex as I am anti stupid people. And when stupid people breed, guess what they have? You guessed it. Stupid babies. Which in turn will grow up to breed other stupid babies until the stupidity never ends. Almost the same way religion has progressed this far now that I think about it. 
     My problem with shows like Teen Mom is that they glamorize teen pregnancy while hiding behind education. The producers say that they are trying to show teens how truly hard and how much of a struggle it is to raise a baby at such a young age while trying to juggle work, education, and a baby. Sounds good on paper but that's not the real point of that show. Think about it for a minute. Teen Mom is a VERY popular show. Name me one purely educational show that get's the kind of ratings that Teen Mom does and 99 percent of the shows viewers are, again you guessed it...female teens.
     I may never know why these young girls think that the hottest thing next to Twilight is getting "preggo" and celebrating the fact that all their other friends are "preggerz" too. It's one of the ultimate facepalm situations for me anymore. These little girls have absolutely no idea what it takes to raise a child. Not an inkling. After one baby I firmly believe that most are destined to forever milk the system becoming just another fat woman in a Tweety Bird T-shirt and sweatpants standing in line to get her Medicaid and food stamps while 18 kids of varying shapes and sizes dangle from the folds of fat protruding from under her arm. She couldn't afford the first one, the second one, or the third one so by all means have 13 more and let the government foot the bill for your little cross eyed walking cum shots.Ladies...It's a Vagina, not a clown car.

                                              The Duggard family. 19 kids and counting. Facepalm...

     In closing I just want to say one more thing...



  1. Amber is the one I can't stand. She and Gary, pffft. That little girl should be taken away and given to a non-white trash family that could actually take care of her. Not just kept around so her parents can get more food stamps.
    Figures, they live in Anderson, Indiana. Not too far away from their sister city, Van Wert.

  2. Actually, she did have her little girl taken away. She lost custody of her.
    Here is the link to the story: