I was not raised in what one could really call a Christian home. I was raised by my Grandparents who both believed in God but never attended church or really tried to teach me anything other than the generics. God loves you, God is real, Hell is where you go if you a are bad and so on. The funny thing is that we lived directly across from a local Methodist Church but the only time I spent there was riding my bike around in their parking lot. The closest I ever came to the inside was attending vacation bible school.
I ran into some troubles in my life as a result of deciding to use a wide array of illegal drugs which eventually I wound up selling to maintain my own habit. It was that first trip to prison when I truly thought I had found God. I've heard the joke before where people say that Jesus must be locked in prison because that is where everyone seems to find him. Funny joke, yet like so many others full of truth. I can't speak for everyone but for me I sought after God while incarcerated because I was truly hopeless. I was powerless. For me the entire world had stopped spinning while on the inside when I knew in reality that the real world was going on as usual. Only without me. I came to Christianity, like most, at a weakened state, both mentally and physically.
Upon my release I continued studying the bible and Christianity as a whole. I took notes, highlighted page after page of the book. I went to church with my friend Mike who had been a Christian since we were in our teen years. I had truly changed and I felt that at the time it was a direct result of Jesus Christ living in my heart and my being one with God.
During some of my arguments with Christians I like to say that the difference between a Christian and an Atheist is that the Atheist has read the bible. I say this because after years of studying the bible I seem to know more about the book than the majority of the very people who blindly follow it. Studying the bible is something that I still do to this day even as an Atheist. I do it for the same reason a Christian should do it. To stay on their game so to say. To actually have an answer when questions are asked. To actually know and understand what it is you are defending or attacking during a debate.
The more I studied the bible, Christianity, and other religions the more I began to realize that something was wrong. The first thing of course was the violent, spiteful God of The Old Testament. Christians told me that The Old Testament is no longer because of Jesus Christ. Yet in the bible Jesus said that he came not to destroy the old law (O.T.) but to fulfill it. I just did not understand how such a horrible God in The Old Testament could turn into such a loving, caring God in The New Testament.
And then I started discovering contradictions in the bible. There are so many I would not be able to even begin to list them on this blog. Thankfully some fellow Atheists have already compiled these lists for us. Click the link below to see some of the many contradictions within the bible.
Click Here For Biblical Contradictions
Once I began to see these things my faith was beginning to fall apart. I was beginning to come to the realization that the bible was written by scared, superstitious human beings and not inspired by God. I kept my faith for a little while because the bible holds onto it's followers with a little bit of trickery. When a believer starts to question his own faith he is told that those questions are Satan injecting doubt into their minds to try to bring them further and further away from the God that he hates so much. Rather than actually looking for answers to those questions that are causing doubt in the mind of the believer they simply chalk it off as the devil trying to get to them and they pray to their God for strength and help. Some even look at the temptations as a blessing.
Another thing that I noticed is that God could do no wrong. If something good happened it was praise be to God for bringing it into my life. If something bad happened it was the devils fault and still God's will be done. If a prayer was answered it was thank you Jesus. If prayers were not answered it was God's will be done. I found a picture while using StumbleUpon (which I highly recommend) that explains this to the T.
|They are all kind of like this.|