Back in the day (about 4-5 months ago) I use to troll our local section of a forum called, "Topix". I suppose that I can't really use the term "troll" because I made sure everyone knew my true identity. I never tried to hide behind my computer. My beliefs and opinions are held very dear to me and I've never been one to not voice them for fear of offending someone. Because of that, I usually used my real name on the forum and once that name was banned I'd use a different name but before I made a single post, I made sure everyone on the boards knew who I was.
Now to get a real taste of this forum you are just going to have to go check it out for yourselves so here is the link : Topix Van Wert, Ohio
Wow, right? The old saying rings true ... never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Now, in defense of my simple little hometown and the quite simple minded people in it ... this happens everywhere. To better help you understand why, allow me to introduce you to John Gabriel's "Greater Internet Dickwad Theory".
Get it? I'd almost like to elaborate on it a bit but I really think the chart explains it easily enough. Moving along ...
If you clicked on the link I provided you for Van Wert Topix, first off thank you for following along! Secondly, did you happen to notice the thread with my name in it? This one : Click Here for my very own thread!
First I'd like to say that my name is actually spelled JohnathAn. No "o". I know, I'm being a grammar nazi. But dammit, if people are going to admire me enough to dedicate yet another thread to me then they ought to have to learn to spell my name correctly.
If you're still following along closely you'll notice that I said, "yet another thread about me". Correct. There are close to 30 threads dedicated entirely to me on Van Wert, Topix. *facepalm* Sometimes when I'm bored I often wonder why? And how? How was I able to get into these simple people's simple little minds enough to make them flex their e-muscles at me every chance they get?
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| I think it was this. Money well spent. |
Seriously though, what is it about me that causes such an infatuation? See, it wouldn't be so bad if I still made posts. But like I said, it's been almost 5 months since I've submitted a single solitary little post on the website. See, I started a little shit with some of the admins/mods of the forum as well as a pretty much unsuccessful hacking attempt which they became aware of and was subsequently banned from all of Topix. I can not make a post using my phone or my laptop even using masking software. The only way I could post was if I went somewhere that offered free WiFi and took advantage of that ... which I don't do because it's just not worth it.
So think about it ... not a single post by me in five long months yet my name is still a common topic. Random people (basically anyone being an asshole) is accused of actually being me. Notice on this thread about me how one poster even accused the OP who was using my misspelled name to post as actually being me. Pretty damn insane isn't it?
Now the point of bringing this up to you all here on my blog isn't about just ranting about it. For one it doesn't make me angry even in the slightest. I'll admit, I use to get a good laugh out of it, but anymore it's just old. Yes, the fad of talking about me has become so last year. Anyways, my point in this is I want to know why. I want to know why I'm this awesome. How did I manage to worm my way into so many peoples minds. I mean, come on ... this is Van Wert. How I managed to not only get into these peoples clouded thoughts is crazy enough to think about. Let alone the fact that I now live in their minds among things like NASCAR, Alcohol, Drugs, and a myriad of mental stability issues. Am I really just that good?
My only wish is that these people could come up with something better than:
1. Junior High gay sex/dick jokes. I'm married and have a child ... pretty sure that shows I actually enjoy Vagina.
2. I have no job/I live off my wife/I'm on welfare. I do have a job, just can't start it yet. My wife does work and while she's at work I do the stay at home dad thing and take care of my three year old daughter. I do get free food and healthcare. Doesn't mean I'm a bum, just means I don't make quite enough money and I qualify. Don't hate because you pay for my T-Bones =)
3. I'm on drugs/I lied about quitting drugs. Yes, I was once on drugs. Lot's of them. Mainly Opiates this last couple of years. However, I managed to get myself cleaned up and here I am still alive. Of course my being clean is nothing I could ever prove to anyone besides an employer with a cup to pee in but then again my sobriety is nothing I should ever have to prove to anyone else. Moving along ...
4. Being a snitch/informant/ ... This one is almost too stupid to talk about. I don't know how it goes in other cities, but in mine if someone doesn't like you then chances are you will eventually be called a snitch. I'm not, but my motto always is this: If you can ever manage to refrain from doing illegal activities then you would be able to not have to worry about who is and who isn't a snitch. Stop doing illegal shit? I know, what a bitch that must be for some of these people.
Damn, how am I going to end this one? I guess I will just leave you with this: Please refrain, if at all humanly possible, from allowing me to control you so much. You might not think that's what is going on but that's the whole point of controlling someone else ... the other person doesn't ever even realize it and when they do they cut the strings. I'm giving you all an opportunity to cut said strings if you want to with no harm being done. You don't even have to be embarrassed. But it's just a mere offer and it's an offer I know many will not take. That's okay with me. Really, it's fine. I enjoy reading about me the same way I'm sure national celebrities enjoy reading about themselves. Any attention is attention and attention is what I need to lift this blog back up where it belongs. So in a way, thank you. And as always, have a nice night!
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